Why did this have to happen??
Why did my baby have to be taken so early?
Why do others get to move on so fast?
Why do others get to live a normal every day life again when I cannot get my mind off of my baby??
I am so mad!!! Mad at whoever took my baby, and mad at those who already might be forgetting him!!!!
He was as real to me as my alive kids are, as my husband is, as my dad is, as my mom is.
I loved him as much as I love them!
I know others do not think of him as a live person, but to me he was. I know some ppl will think "oh you were early, it doesnt hurt as much as it would if you were farther along" thats crap!!! I wasnt sure if it was crap, but I have talked to another mom who has had a late loss (after 20 wks) and an early loss, and she validated that it hurts the same no matter what!!!
I know some people may get over a miscarriage easier, but I dont care.
I have lost a baby! WHY!!!!
I stopped everything the moment I found out I was pregnant! I found out at 4 wks 1 day and stopped coffee, soda, everything! I was so careful!! I loved my baby so much!!!
I rubbed my belly all the time, and sadly still catch myself doing so. i cry throughout the day all day. My head hurts all the time trying to hold back tears.
I cannot get him out of my mind, it hurts so bad! I had so many hopes and dreams for my little guy! I was being so positive that this pregnancy would be different, that I wouldnt have problems, that third times a charm. and then my baby dies. WHY!!!!
I am just so angry!!! Its so hard seeing everyone I love being able to go about their everyday life. But why should I expect differently? I shouldnt, but i do, and it hurts. and i hate ppl right now.
I want to yell and scream and say mean things to everyone.
They say everyone is there in the beginning, then the support and understanding goes away, and you are left feeling the loss just like you did the first day it happened. I feel like I already see that happening.
Gosh I am just feeling so angry right now.
my forever baby, I love you so much, i will never forget you!! You will always be my baby, whether I was able to hold you or not. You are as real to me as my alive kids. and you always will be.
1 comment:
hey sis, you said everything exactly right. from us talking you know what i have been feeling. i love you and don't worry my nephew will never be forgotton by me, i still think of him every second of the day and ask all those same questions you are asking. it sucks and i am very angry that this happened but i don't know what to do about it. i guess this is part of grieving? i don't know? i just know that i am so sad and PISSED OFF. i loved my nephew like i do my other nephews. i don't understand why this happened. I HATE THIS
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